Troubled Hearts
by TheGunBlader
Summary: An angsty story of how Quistis and Squall get it together, amid the darkness of the sorceress powers (still in its infancy)*my first fic so please R&R!*-**Chapter 4 now up!!**-Introducing Quistis
1. That magical night

Disclaimer: I'm afraid that I own none of these characters ..*deep sigh*.. much as I'd like to .. but they all belong to Squaresoft ..  
  
"hey you know Squaresoft .. you've got plenty of characters.. so...err .. would you mind if had these ..?.. pleeeaassee!!!!..*clasps his hands together..*.. Ok maybe not all of them.. can I just have Quistis??.. I promise to treat her right!!!..better than Squall did .. much better!!" *cheeky grin..lol*  
  
Anyway.. hope you enjoy my humble fic..  
  
Troubled Hearts  
  
By: TheGunBlader, aka Choogalee, aka Crazy wolf guy, aka Ikari-kun, aka former mental patient.. *hee hee*  
  
Chapter 1 - That magical night  
  
  
  
The dying screams of the creature could be heard as it dropped to the ground; exhaustion from the fight becoming too great to resist. It crashed hard, the rhythmic movement of its scaly chest slowing. Blood trickled from deep gashes in the monsters side, encircling it's body with a small pool of crimson. Its life ebbing away, a forked tongue slowly slipped out of its wide jaw, tasting the air for the last time. Moments later it disappeared.  
  
A leather-gloved hand reached up brushing back long smooth auburn hair. He was breathing hard as beads of sweat formed on his brow. The scar strikingly slashed across his head and down between his eyes, seemingly darker than usual in comparison to the faded colour of his face. His sky blue, hazelnut tinged eyes, shimmering with frustrated energy; a painfully sad feeling hidden behind them, downcast at the battle worn ground.  
  
Squall stood there regaining his strength noticing how the blades of grass had thinned amidst the clearing of the training centre. The muddy depressions along the ground made by numerous residents of the garden in their own personal quests. Lately the smallest of things seemed to come overriding to his attention. As if his mind were desperate to clutch on to any trivial thing, eager to push darker thoughts from his head.  
  
(... why did I come here... this isn't helping...)  
  
He clasped the black leathery handle of the sturdy weapon in front of him, wrenching its embedded tip from the ground, gently holding it up. The light reflected along its sharp edge, making it seem as though a handful of sunbeams were taken from the sky and forged along the length of the blade.  
  
(... after everything that's happened... it feels like this is all I have left..)  
  
For a second he stood mesmerised. Then his eyes slowly trailed down the length of the gunblade, concentrating as they came to rest on the Greiver emblem.  
  
Strength, grace and power...  
  
He had made the symbol his own from an early age, so desperate to instil those qualities in himself. Like the figure of the roaring lion he wanted his feelings to be untouchable, locked up behind unbreakable barriers. So that he would never be hurt again.  
  
Then she came along, and everything changed. A deep sigh swept across his sagging shoulders.  
  
(.... some lionheart I am...)  
  
Looking up at the trees Squall stood in a daydream watching as the simulated wind swept through blanketed slender branches, causing a bluster of autumn coloured leaves to break from their safe nesting places, falling in patterned dances to the ground below. His eyes surveyed the scene before him, but his mind... it was elsewhere in the past.  
  
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He could hear the music and the people in the main hall of the garden, and for some reason, this time it was different. He didn't feel cold, or alone. The sounds that usually mocked him, and his need for seclusion had a different effect. He was ..happy, and it felt good.  
  
Squall looked over the edge of the balcony. The lighted rings humming as they wound they're way around the outside of the floating structure. Beneath him the cold waves were still and calm echoing the feelings of peace he felt in his own heart. These new feelings that had somehow emerged from such turmoil. Because of one person. Someone who had approached him, so full of life, so daring. He admired those qualities, wishing sometimes that he could let himself go in the same way...  
  
Maybe it was time to do just that. Let himself go.  
  
He looked up at the woman leaning alongside him over the balcony. Secretly admiring her beautiful delicate features. Long black hair framed her gentle face, golden streaks distinctive, reflecting the light of the silvery moon. It was hard to control the desire to reach up and run his hand gently through them.  
  
(.. Rinoa ..) ...the faintest of contented sighs murmured through his body. A tranquil look on his face as he concentrated on her profile waiting for her to look round.  
  
The clear starry sky had been holding her attention, her face in wondrous respect of the beauty that the heavens could display. A shooting star caught her eye, and her lips curled into a faint smile as she pointed up to it, just like she had done the first time their eyes had found each other.  
  
She remembered that day, long ago. He had been so timid yet with an arrogance that dared anyone to mock him for being so. His eyes had shown defiance and compassion all in the same look. Long rich hair falling around that dark scar that made him all the more beautiful in such a mysterious way. She had definitely liked him in that first moment, and decided to march right up to him in her trademark-overbearing manner.  
  
It had been quite a challenge, she thought to herself; trying to find the man behind that iron exterior. She looked at him intently reflecting his feelings.  
  
(..But to see him like this... I'm glad I didn't give up..)  
  
His smile shone as it escaped from his heart. Moving closer to her a hand reached up grabbing her wrist in a playful way, while the other slipped round her waist gently. His fingers trembled slightly, the feeling of frailty around this new level of intimacy causing him to be afraid of holding her too tight. In case it all fell apart in his hands.  
  
(.. this is what she wants isn't it?.... is ..is this what I want..?) his doubts tugged at the corners of his mind, but were soon forgotten as the warmth of her body captured him. His lips brushed over hers, at first with only the faintest of touches. As his emotions took hold he kissed her more deeply. His cold, detached manner completely discarded to enjoy the taste of her lips, the smell of her hair; the way her hands clutched his chest. His mind as active as his embrace; committing every detail, every delicate movement to memory.  
  
(..this is all so new to me.. but.. I.... I want her.. I need her..)  
  
Rinoa stepped back gasping a little, her face flushed. For the briefest of moments Squall saw what seemed to be confusion in her eyes. She closed them wrapping her arms around him leaning her face against his shoulder. He held her back just as tightly.  
  
(..I don't want this to end..)  
  
No longer confused, he was sure that this .. that Rinoa was what he wanted.  
  
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So that was my first ever chapter to my first ever story!!.. If you're reading this, I assume you read it all the way through ..THANK YOU!! .. and I'll ask you to do one lil' thing for me.. PLZ REVIEW!! I crave feedback!  
  
P.S. oh and so sorry if you found it a bit too angsty ...but I'm feeling kinding angsty at the moment, that and I feel the need for lots of gunblade swinging action!!.. *starts swinging his bokken (hey its the closest thing I've got to a gunblade) above his head*..yeaahh!!.. so if you persevere with this fic .. Ill give you some great action parts..promise!!..*prob in Chap 3* Oh and sorry if you found the story unfolding using flashbacks confusing *it continues in the next chapter*. but I wanted to do something a little different and challenging. Tell me what you think anyway by reviewing!!  
  
I promise to upload the next chapter soon ..if people wanna read more that is *let me know by reviewing!!!* u can see how crazy I am about reviews!  
  
P.P.S. Just one more teensy thing.. umm.. this fic isn't supposed to be totally accurate to the game.. so if my descriptions of the training centre, or anything else, conflict with the game .. well just letting y'know I wasn't going for total accuracy.. Its kinda like been 2 years since I clocked the game so my memory of it is a bit hazy..*Can still remember how cute Quistis is though !!.. (goes all chibi-eyed)* 


	2. All that's left is the pain

Here's the next chapter as promised.. I hope you find it better than the last chapter..  
  
Because of a few negative reviews I had I'm thinking maybe of discontinuing this fic .. I've got chapter 3 already written and Ill post that up .. but I wont write anymore until I find people asking for more...  
  
This chapter is dedicated to Tetsuya Nomura, the character designer for final fantasy 7 & 8, and the bouncer among others. Without his outstanding work I wouldn't have such great characters to play around with .. nor would Quistis look as cute!.. *hee hee*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 2 : All that's left is the Pain  
  
  
  
(..I don't want this to end.... )  
  
The old thought echoed through his mind breaking him out of his trance.  
  
What a joke.  
  
It had ended a long time ago. But like a fool he didn't see it. He should have realised she didn't feel the same way about him.  
  
Maybe he had, but he didn't want to believe it.  
  
Hatred ran through his mind. He wished it could be hatred for her, for the way she had just shut him out of her life. Believing that she had caused all this pain would be easier to live with. But after days... weeks, of endless thinking he had come to the conclusion that he had allowed this to happen. Allowed himself to get close enough to her to be hurt. It was all his fault and the hatred he felt was for himself.  
  
Why had he let her in? Why did he allow himself to trust her so much? He should have listened to that little voice that snagged at his thoughts, the voice that said 'She's only going to leave you, like everyone else, like your mother, your sister, everyone... You'll trust her and she'll leave, and all you'll have left is the pain'.  
  
(..All that's left is the pain.....)  
  
A grimace spread across Squalls features and he walked forwards breathing out hard, imagining all his feelings leaving his body along with his breath. It didn't work. The tightness in his chest was still there; the imaginary blade between his ribs twisting that little bit further.  
  
If only I could make this stop...I used to be so good at being cold, unemotional; it came so easy to me. A dark smile faintly spread across his face, the tragedy of the situation almost being funny for a second.  
  
No matter what has happened, he told himself, there's nothing I can do. I can't change anything .. I just have to get over it...  
  
(..Easier said than done..)  
  
He had been trying to get over it for some time. But without any distractions his days seemed long and empty. Leaving time for his mind to wander, to think of a million reasons why it had gone so terribly wrong. Devoid of any motivation he found himself in quiet isolation. Lying in his bed. Memorising every crack, every mark in the ceiling of his room.  
  
He had hardly been eating, hardly even sleeping. And when he had slept there were the hateful mornings, those first few moments while waking up. His mind clear of troubles. A clean slate, concentrating on normal routine. Then his memories would come rushing back. Like a floodgate kicked open, hurtful recollections were free to crash like stormy waves across his mind.  
  
And the pain, it struck him deeply, as strong as it had the first time. An aching numbness, making him feel empty yet filled with emotion all in the same moment...  
  
He stopped walking, looking up at the glass ceiling of the training centre out into the blue sky. He concentrated on a single cloud rolling by, and let the breath bleed from his body. The wind leisurely kicked the soft amorphous cloud playfully along the sea of clear blue. His thoughts began to stray from the monotony of self-pity, going back to happier times.  
  
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[The morning after the party..]  
  
The cafeteria was pretty crowded this time of day, he thought, waiting in line to get whatever was being served this particular morning. Could you call it morning? It was closer to lunch.  
  
Squall had slept in, waking at about 11 in the morning. Something the people who knew him would tell you was strange.  
  
"What's wrong with him, is he ill?.. I mean.. this is Squall were talking about, he hates eating with a crowd. By the time everyone else is awake he's finished breakfast and is torturing himself in the training centre" He smiled thinking of their reaction, which became wider as he thought about how unnatural they would think that was.  
  
"Squall ..smiling..??.. Oh my gosh! Someone get a camera ..quick!!"  
  
But they would have a reason to mock him. He was different. Since last night on the balcony. Being able to hold her, to kiss her. His body relaxed as he thought of Rinoa, and the smile stayed firmly rooted to his lips.  
  
SLAM! "Whaddya mean no more hotdogs!!??"  
  
Squall looked round. Unable to see anything he took a step out of the queue, trying to find the source of the all the noise.  
  
He had already guessed who was behind it. Only one person came to mind who would react in so childish a manner when it came to his favourite food.  
  
Sure enough, there he was. Leaning over the counter, a studded-gloved fist slammed down upon it, glaring at the young cadet unfortunate enough to be assigned to the cafeteria this morning.  
  
He was striking in appearance as well as in attitude. Fine golden hair flowed skywards in a gravity-defying flash. The jet-black oriental tattoo, intricately displayed down one side of his pale slim face, hidden from view, on the other side away from Squall. The look of boyish-charm that usually danced in his deep crystal blue eyes replaced by annoyed frustration.  
  
"They always keep a few hotdogs for me!!" Zell shouted again "... Are you new or something!?"  
  
The frightened girl stepped back from the counter nodding apprehensively. She looked around for help only to find the rest of the food-serving cadets with proud smiles adorned on their faces, a few of them even restraining themselves from laughing out loud. The penny dropped, and she realised that this must be another one of those embarrassing initiation pranks.  
  
(..no wonder they insisted I serve the hotdogs. bastards)  
  
"..I.. I'm sorry .. b-but we have some bean burgers left.. "She started in a faltering voice.  
  
"BEAN BURGERS..!!??.. ".. Zell exclaimed with disgust, ready to show what he thought of the suggestion.  
  
A hand came down on his shoulder, and Zell turned round, his annoyance about to explode in the direction of the person who dared to start with him when he was like..  
  
"Squall..?"  
  
"Quit holding up the queue...some of us want to eat y'know" The remark came with a coating of playful humour.  
  
Zell stood there an eyebrow raised in confusion, allowing Squall to step in and take control.  
  
"Forgive my friend here. He takes food way too seriously.."  
  
(.... I take things too seriously??..and ..did he just call me his friend??..)  
  
This got stranger by the second.  
  
"Ill take a bean burger.. " A smile crept up on Squall's lips as he paused thinking for a moment...  
  
" ..and he'll take one too.." The girl gave him a thankful look to express her gratitude for the save, handing him the requested food.  
  
"Here..." He jammed the burger into Zells open mouth. The shocked look on his face was priceless.  
  
"Maybe this'll keep you quiet.." Squall smiled. Restrained laughter along with surprise reflected itself in the faces of the people around them. Especially the girl behind the counter, after the initial amazement she giggled uncontrollably behind a hand clapped round her mouth.  
  
It was usually the other way round, the shorter martial artist making quips at the expense of his dark silent companion. An occasional glaring 'Whatever...' look coming from Squall following each remark.  
  
In general he was the most serious of people, and that's what had Zell so confused. Nobody else would've been able to do this to him. He was always first with the jokes and always the last one laughing. A strangely happy, joking, smiling Squall had distracted him long enough for this to happen.  
  
Zell glared at the crowd around him, taking the burger out of his mouth. The smiling, laughing faces lost their stability. Anything else, urgently beginning to capture their attention. The audience put in their place he hurried off after Squall who was surveying the tables, looking for a place to eat.  
  
"So what did ya do to with the real Squall?" The voice behind him inquired.  
  
"Don't know what you're talking about.." He replied turning to Zell the unusual smile from before still playing on his lips.  
  
"That's what I'm talkin about" A finger directed itself at Squalls mouth pointing out the evidence for all to plainly see.  
  
(..as if no-one's going to notice how I've changed..)  
  
"Ok ok.. you got me... so I'm happy for once"  
  
"I can see that ...can hardly believe it!" he smiled back "..I'm just kiddin, its cool... kinda hopin things would work out for ya man.. " Zell pushed the taller mans jaw to the side with a playful punch.  
  
Squall looked at him a little questioningly, wondering if this wasn't the start of another joke. He wasn't too sure what the reaction to his sudden change would be, especially from someone like Zell.  
  
"Seriously.. she's good for you Squall..." he said with sincerity in his eyes.  
  
"...just don't mess it up.. kay?" Those last words were wrapped up in a wide grin, his strong canines flashing. He walked off in the direction of a nearby table. Squall smiled after him and followed.  
  
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A bit of an angsty chapter at the beginning again, but the flashback is nice and happy! .. a kinda yin yang thing going on there..  
  
I'd really like to hear what you think of this.. so please review!!  
  
With enough reviews ill post the next chapter up quite soon, otherwise you'll have to wait a week! 


	3. His own worst enemy

I'm back with another chapter!!.. I hope you like.. I found this chapter pretty easy to write well the latter half of it anyway.. this isn't the first time I've written action *ikari an bukiyo yayy!!!* so I hope it comes across ok ... anyway enough of my ramblings ..enjoy!  
  
This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful nakiko who inspired me to write in the first place. She has such a wonderful way of describing things.. and her style of writing has greatly influenced me.. go read her fics.. *.. she only does yaoi though - well its more romance than anything even if it is between men theyre still great stories.. so go read!!*  
  
  
  
Chapter 3 - His own worst enemy  
  
  
  
Squalls eyes washed over with emotion... and the cloud slowly disappeared behind the frame of the ceiling.  
  
He had really enjoyed that time. Opening up to the rest of the group, showing a side of himself that made them enjoy his company.  
  
They had always been there for him. Fighting alongside him, protecting him, watching his back. He had never thanked them for saving his life, never thought of them as anything other than comrades who shared a warriors bond with him.  
  
Since that night though, all those weeks ago, they had started to mean much more to him. Having friends and people to rely upon was something that made him feel good, something that was important in his life.  
  
Memories flooded his thoughts, images of laughing and joking around with Zell; times they had spent together, helping each other. They had become pretty close, and he had found himself talking to him more openly about personal things. He had shared problems with him, listened to his advice, and Zell had confided in him too.  
  
He had become closer to almost everyone. So much so that they even asked him to hang out with them on the beach. A favourite past time of theirs to while away the hours between missions, on a special spot along the Balamb coast line that had been silently agreed with the rest of the garden to belong to them.  
  
"Its a special privilege! So ya better remember this!" Selphie had stated with mock pride, dancing around him in her own child-like way. He remembered how surprised they were when he turned up in his typical leather- clad outfit. It was a stark contrast to Zell's baggy swimming shorts or Selphie's yellow bikini or, he winced as he remembered, Irvine's Speedos.  
  
"Don't you ever give those clothes a rest!?" .. "How the hell can you survive in this heat dressed like that!?" their voices came like whispering shadows to the surface of his thoughts.  
  
(Maybe I hadn't changed back then as much as I thought..) He smiled faintly.  
  
He was even beginning to miss Irvine.  
  
(..I must really be desperate..)  
  
He imagined Irvine now; an arm typically swung around his shoulders, pulling their faces close, not giving a second thought to invading his space. The faded brown leather jeans and cowboy hat as outlandish in the surrounding sea of uniforms as his personality.  
  
"What you doing today..?..I wanna see Selphie in this killer dress I bought her!.. So do me a favour, ask her to double date with ya both tonight.." and before he could protest.."cheers pal, I owe ya!"  
  
Squall chuckled silently, the pains of his depression lifting themselves for a fleeting moment.  
  
The only person who had still kept their distance from him was Quistis. People had told him how much fun she had had on the night of the celebration party. He had even seen it for himself on the tape they had made; Selphie making him sit through it one rainy evening with shouts of .."Look!! that's me!!" throughout its viewing.  
  
Since that day though Quistis seemed to go out of her way to avoid spending time with him. He only seemed to see her on missions or when he met the rest of the group. Often while walking up to them he had watched her talking and laughing, only to fall silent as soon as he joined them. Then she would make her excuses and leave.  
  
He had asked the others what was wrong, but they were quick to dismiss it, reluctant it seemed, to discuss it at any length.  
  
For the first time he had true friends, and more importantly .. he had her..  
  
Now everything was a mess. Rinoa was gone, leaving a gaping hole in his life, causing him to shun the people that cared about him. He had become like his former self, hardly saying a word, spending his time alone. They had tried to help him when it started, but he pushed them away. Ridiculing any attempt to get at the truth of his feelings. He had shut them out and kept them away by saying things he didn't mean; probably causing them something like the pain he was feeling.  
  
(.. they probably hate me as well now... just like.. she does... )  
  
He closed his eyes, the hurt fresh in his heart, aching away.  
  
(.. how .. why ...has she done this to me... )  
  
A deep sigh slowly swept through his body. He had been over this before, but like a thought that won't go away. The questions, the regret and the sorrow echoed around his head. It was as if all the paths of his brain led to the same place.  
  
(.. I have to stop this .... have to try and forget about it.. that's why I came here.. if only while I'm fighting... I have to stop thinking.. )  
  
Squall turned to face the mechanical door in the north wall of the room, making his way towards it.  
  
He used to spend a lot of time in here before. It was the peaceful quiet, and the ability to concentrate on his fighting skill that had given him a sense of focus. Now...everything seemed out of focus. Each sombre day blurred into the next.  
  
Tired of staring at the same four walls he had decided that today he would be leaving the security of his room. Out of habit his hands had found themselves opening the case of the neglected gunblade. It seemed his mind had already decided upon visiting the old place of practice. All it was now though was a welcome distraction.  
  
(..then how come all I can think about is the past..?..)  
  
The door opened sensing his presence. Squall stepped through; shoulders slumped. Half of him wanted to get all the anger and pain out of his system. The other half wanted to go back to his room and do nothing at all. He had gone with trying to fight it all out, only because doing nothing had already proved to be of little help.  
  
He had a defeated quite a few monsters. So far he hadn't fought anything too difficult, although without the use of any junctioned GFs it had been harder, but then that was the idea, tire himself to exhaustion. That and maybe the subconscious need to punish himself, for feeling this way.  
  
He stopped, the sound of something moving through the undergrowth warning of an approaching encounter. With practised ease the gunblade swung off his shoulder and back to his right, ready for any attack. He listened carefully, eyes following the direction of any sound.  
  
( .. this is what I'm here for....so come on...don't keep me waiting.. )  
  
Suddenly something exploded from the branches of the nearest tree. Through the shower of rusty coloured leaves he could just make out a long brown dart attached to a fleeting green wire. Instinctively his weapon rose up to protect himself, honed reflexes making the heavy blade feel like an extension of his arm.  
  
CLANG!  
  
It glanced off the gunblade. Not able to maintain his balance from the impact he fell back, rolling along the ground. A hand shot out steadying his body, and he flipped backwards into a kneeling position, swinging the long blade in front of him ready to defend himself.  
  
Looking around all he could see where leaves falling, light and delicate, unaware of the sudden tension in the air. It had gone, back into the deceptive stillness of the trees.  
  
The sound of a whirring motor made Squall spin round with surprise ready to lunge forward. Upon seeing the closing door he had just passed through his anxiety faded, a faint smile creeping up on his lips.  
  
(..a bit jumpy aren't you..)  
  
The leaves burst from the trees once more; as if using the distraction of the door to hide its attack, the hostile object snaked along the ground aiming low at its target.  
  
His heart skipped a beat.  
  
(... you've good reason to be.. )  
  
A second outburst of leaves and an identical object flew from another part of the undergrowth heading towards him.  
  
(.. two of them..?..)  
  
Being further back from the trees than before he had enough time to observe his attackers.  
  
The green fleeting wire he had briefly seen before was thick organic vine, gnarled and twisted, bristling with numerous jutting thorns dwindling in size along its length. The brown darts were husky outer casings, similar to coconut shell, probably hiding something venomous within.  
  
Squall jumped forward at the last second, the first vine whipping the ground beneath his feet. He twisted in mid-flight, bringing the gunblade round to cover his waist, the second dart ricocheting off the barrel.  
  
He landed gasping for air.  
  
(... its too soon to be this tired... even with all the fights I've had..)  
  
The long whip-like vines curled up in the air in front of him, moving cautiously towards the stranger who had invaded their home. The husky darts at the head of the vines split, opening slightly around the tips; hissing at Squall with quiet fury.  
  
No point attacking them, he thought analysing the situation. They're part of something bigger.. a plant creature most likely, hiding further on. Just have to avoid them long enough to find it.  
  
He was one of the most experienced Seed at the garden, especially at random combat. Sound judgement should have made him abandon this fight in his present condition. But with his thoughts in disarray, worn down by the pain of recent days, all he could think about was the need to continue fighting, to prove that nothing could beat him; whether a physical enemy or his own personal demons. Like the lion he aspired to be, pride could so easily become his own worst enemy.  
  
He grit his teeth as his brow lowered, steely blue eyes glaring.  
  
(.. I won't let this thing get the better of me.... )  
  
His eyes trailed from the darts down along the vines on either side of him, momentarily tracing their path along twisted branches and round tree trunks. A smile faintly flashed across his lips and he turned, sprinting deeper into the forested room.  
  
The organic darts hung momentarily in the air, hissing in exclamation at their prey's show of fear, then rushed forward with anticipation.  
  
Squall ran past the trees out into the clearing, the deadly vines circling through the air, closing in.  
  
(..just a little further...)  
  
A jolt travelled along the length of one of the vines as it caught fast against numerous branches, its extension exhausted. The husk opened and closed in frustration revealing a brightly coloured sack attached to a long thin spike. Unable to travel any further it slowly retreated into the undergrowth.  
  
Glancing over his shoulder Squall could see his plan had partiarly worked.  
  
(..one down ...)  
  
He focused his attention on the remaining dart that chased him, alarmed at the shrinking distance between them.  
  
(..one to ..)  
  
Suddenly he felt his foot caught beneath him, and he fell forward tumbling. His head struck against a rocky patch of ground as his body came to a halt. Gingerly his eyes opened .. getting wider as his sight focused ..  
  
(..oh hyne..)  
  
The blur of a green tail, tipped by an open mouth of a spike hurtled towards him, the sound of hissing filling his ears.  
  
Finding himself unable to move he tightened his eyes closed, ready for the inevitable.  
  
(... I've lost.... everything...)  
  
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Im sorry to those people who want an explanation of why Rinoa has left Squall and all of that .. I will get to it.. I just like to spend some time setting the scene and keeping things mysterious.. so forgive me!.. and I promise to get to it soon  
  
I really hope you like reading the action part as much as I enjoyed writing it.. and there'll be more next chapter!.. so leave me a review telling me what you think!!!  
  
I havent got any more written as of yet .. but thanks to the response.. *thanks Vick you're right, I shouldn't take bad reviews so negatively..* I will be continuing this story .. hopefully there should be more in a weeks time.. if not sooner. 


	4. An unexpected save

I hope you like reading this chapter.. it was quite a chore to write. Sorry for taking so long with it, but I've had problems with upgrading my computer and ended up rebuilding it myself, its a long chapter to make up for the delay.  
  
A few apologies and stuff..  
  
-Big apologies to nakiko, I didn't mean to warn people off your fics.. that wasn't how I meant it to sound.. I changed it right away.  
  
- Pete I thank you for being the first one to bring my mistake to my attention. I do have a few problems with the rest of your message though. I don't think I'm stealing nakiko's style at all. I'm just using a convention of hers that I like very much, and find is the best way to tell my story. I even asked her permission after reading your review..and she told me she was very flattered that I'm using her style. *Pulls face at Pete* so there!  
  
Seriously, I can't help it if my writing is a lot like hers, they're just so good.  
  
Give me some time to develop my writing and hopefully I'll develop a style of my own.  
  
And I'm not warning people off her fics because I don't want them to see the similarity to mine.. that makes no sense. Why would I dedicate a chapter to her? Or have her as one of my favourite authors? I'll say it again - Everyone go read nakiko's brilliant fics asap!!! They're way better than my shitty story. And leave her a review!!! (It'll make her so happy and me too, cause her smiles so cute to see :¬)  
  
Anyway...I'll stop rambling; here's my chapter..  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 4 - An unexpected save  
  
  
  
The slender hand reached up and hovered apprehensively over the door for the third time.  
  
Quistis sighed, and instead flicked back the long golden tresses that swept either side of her elegant features.  
  
Why was this so difficult?  
  
Her clear sky blue eyes came down to rest on the tray of food she was carrying. All she had to was knock on the door, offer it to Squall and leave if he didn't want to talk.. simple.. right? As if things could ever be simple with Squall.  
  
(Damn it! Why did Cid ask me of all people!?..)  
  
He had called her in to his office early that morning to talk about Squall. Everyone knew something was wrong with him, that something had happened.  
  
Zell had tried to talk to him, so did Selphie and Irvine. From what she had heard from Zell he was quite cold on the subject and treated his friends with something less than contempt. When he continued acting hostile to everyone's attentions, they just gave up on him, keeping out of his way rather than face his cold stare.  
  
It was true that she was the only person that hadn't tried to talk to Squall. Yet how could it help? He hadn't shown any particular inclination towards her before. She was just another face in the crowd to him .. no not even that. Ever since that night after the ball.. when she had opened up to him, telling him how she was no longer an instructor. He could have, he should have said something, should have offered some support; but he just returned her longing gaze with those uncaring eyes.  
  
There wasn't any place for her in his life. Only Rinoa.  
  
Ever since they had become close she couldn't stand being around Squall. When he was alone rejecting everyone's attention she could live with it. Live with being close to the one she cared so much about, but not being able to touch him, not being able to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him softly.. as she had imagined so many times before. She had been comforted to an extent, with the knowledge that at least he disregarded everyone else as well.  
  
But then .. someone succeeded where she had failed. Rinoa had cleaved through all his turmoil and found her way to a place in his heart. She had opened up his feelings and changed him. That smile that played on his lips .. that was for Rinoa, not her.  
  
A dull ache echoed through her body.  
  
Quistis didn't know how she had kept herself from breaking down in tears whenever she thought about it. Rinoa had done all that she wished she could have. She had the one man that tortured her heart so.  
  
(what am I doing here ?..)  
  
Oh yes .. that's right, Squalls in trouble and I'm the one who has to help him. Me, the reliable one .. the one who's there for everyone else. I don't get problems .. no!.. I'm just perfect reliable Quistis!!  
  
The sudden rage she felt was an emotional reaction to her self pity, pushing it out of her mind. She shuddered as the anger ran through her.  
  
He doesn't even want it .. yet he ends up getting all the attention.  
  
A hand went up to the bridge of her nose pushing her glasses away as she bent under the pressure of her emotions, like a sapling caught in the winds of a storm.  
  
She reproached herself for being so childish. It wasn't about attention..she shouldn't think like this. If she cared so much about Squall, then she should try to help him.  
  
Her posture straightened as she made a mental effort to calm her mind, trying to cut off the invasion it was experiencing from her heart.  
  
(Cid asked me to come here to try and talk to him..to make him get over this. Its like another mission.. that's all it is, just another mission..)  
  
With these thoughts she ran a hand through her hair and straightened her clothes. Letting out a deep breath and hoping her anxieties left with it, she turned to the door once more to make another attempt at facing both Squall and her pain.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
Squall couldn't move.. couldn't dodge to the side ..swipe with his blade .. cut the creature that was coming at speed ready to find its target. His eyes were tight closed, and all he could hear was fierce hissing.  
  
A second passed. It felt like an eternity.  
  
(It shouldn't take this long...)  
  
Slowly he opened his eyes and gasped in shock, the vicious sight in front of him was close enough to block out all his other senses.  
  
He could to feel the heat of its movement on his cheeks. The brown husky dart opened and closed in desperation. Trying to get closer and capture its intended victim. He could see the long thin jet-black spike within the dart as it strained upon its leash.  
  
Squall noticed the vine stretched tight, its length tied down from various windings and snarings around the foliage of the training centre.  
  
The dart continued to try and fiercely advance its position, snaking back a few steps and then thrusting itself forward again, whipping its thin body with eagerness.  
  
Through the dull pain in his head and the moaning objections of his tired limbs Squall made a conscious effort to find his weapon. The gunblade rose from its position as he gripped it with mustered determination.  
  
He didn't waste anytime. With gritted teeth he cleaved the frantic dart in two, severing its link with life.  
  
It twitched with dying movements as green liquid bled from its stricken frame. Its weapon destroyed the thorny vine lay on the grass moving this way then that, as if unsure what to do next.  
  
Suddenly a shrill scream filled the air. Squall spun round in surprise and gazed at the source of the noise.  
  
A large flowering plant as tall as a man slowly stepped through some trees at the edge of the clearing. The roots of each stumpy leg gripping the ground, snaking through the dirt as its weight fell upon it. Then ripping up the earth as the roots where pulled free with each step.  
  
Large pink bulbous petals at its centre circled a sharp dirty-coloured beak that opened wide with each shriek. Around the flowery petals green leaves and dark stems framed the hub of the creature, and among them little brown husky shoots grew erratically, miniature versions of the weapons that had attacked him.  
  
A long gnarled vine retreated into an opening near the shoots, the dart that had chased him before had returned home to its master. A second long vine extruding from the creature twitched in pain; a result of his sword work.  
  
The dart focused on Squall. It's mouth cracking open to hiss at him, accompanying the shrieks from its dominant frame.  
  
He ignored his aching body, raising his weapon up, between himself and the creature.  
  
(..I'm not done yet... )  
  
It sensed his continued hostility the petals folding inwards, narrowing the opening to its mouth in a gesture of defence. While it's dart-headed tendril slowly readied itself for another outburst of motion.  
  
Squall felt his rage building up inside him, a dark crimson red overcoming calming soft blue. The creature and its attack didn't necessarily cause this reaction. It was more like all his hurt and pain had symbolised itself as his enemy, one being.. something he could touch and strike, something he could direct his hatred towards.  
  
He took a step forward; the dart unwound itself from the belly of the creature.  
  
Squall looked with two solemn eyes at his target and with a deep breath, began his attack, his steps drew him close.. hand gripping steel. The weight on his arm felt good.. felt right, like it always did.  
  
A sudden rush of air as the dart whipped itself forward in a frenzy of action, hissing loudly.  
  
With a tingling of anticipation Squall twirled round forcing the heavy blade alongside his circular motion. The open dart grazed along his chest as he turned, ripping through his white shirt, marking its touch with liquid crimson.  
  
The pain was lost in the rush of the moment as he let the built up momentum of his gunblade loose. The heavy steel cut deep through the creatures left side, felling a petal and slicing its way through stems and leaves. A spurt of green blood splattered his clothes as piercing screams of agony filled the air.  
  
Squall tried to pull back, but found his weapon stuck fast.  
  
Sensing some movement behind him he turned his head to see the dart whipping round, targeting him with speed yet again.  
  
His finger tightened around the trigger as he looked into the mouth of the oncoming horror.  
  
A thundering explosion rocked the air as the bullet tore through the large plant.  
  
Jolts sped through the approaching vine, halting its advance. In moments it had regained its composure, trying to continue forward.  
  
Squall fired again, and again jerking his arm with each hating movement...  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
It was all a big mess. Looking round at Squall's room amazed her. He was usually so neat and clean. A real soldier when it came to tidiness.  
  
Clothes where strewn about the place. His Seed uniform, a symbol of the position he had worked hard for, was usually pressed and hung from the handle of his wardrobe, proudly on display. But she found it littered among crumpled magazines and leather garments scattered in piles around corners of the room. It was more like the state of Zell's room.  
  
Quistis had knocked repeatedly on his door, and when faced with no response she had decided to use her Seed lock picking skills to force her way into his room. What she found shocked her a little.  
  
(..something must really be wrong ..)  
  
She cleared a little space on the bedside table, taking a dirty pair of boxers and tossing it with a blush onto the bed where some other clothes lay scattered. Putting the tray of food down in its place she looked around the room earnestly.  
  
The large open case of Squalls gunblade immediately caught her eye. The missing weapons raising questions in her mind.  
  
(Where could he be going with his gunblade?.. there's no mission .. then that just leaves the training centre.. but.. )  
  
She knew he was in no fit state to be exerting himself.  
  
From looking at records of Squalls credit use in the cafeteria, Cid had found that he hadn't eaten for days. His worries had been passed on to her this morning along with his request.  
  
It wasn't just the food. For Squall to act so differently, letting his problems take over his life so much.. he must really be troubled, and in no fit state to be fighting.  
  
She hurried out of his room, not bothering to close his door. Halfway along the corridor she paused.  
  
He won't thank you for interfering in his life, the doubts whispered in her ear. He's a Seed and doesn't need your help..doesn't want your help.  
  
No, she was making this more complicated than it was.  
  
If he needed any help she would be there for him. Even if he hated her for it. She couldn't just sit back and watch him go through everything alone. Not with the way she felt about him.  
  
A quick stop to her quarters to collect her chain whip, and Quistis would 'accidentally' bump into her former student as she did some training of her own.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
His sight blurred around the edges as drops of sweat glistened their way down his pale face through his eyes. The only thing keeping him standing was the adrenaline pumping in his heated blood and the anger that kept it hot.  
  
He was so tired.. his limbs burned with aching fatigue. But until this thing was dead he wouldn't be laying his weapon down. Squall wasn't going to be a loser in this fight like he had been with the rest of his life. If he ran away he would be a coward..  
  
The creature was on the other side of the clearing, shaken from its deep wound but still active enough to beat off any further attacks. Pools of clotted green slime and felled foliage lay upon the ground.  
  
Its petals flapped out revealing the beak once again. It was pointed in his direction as though it could see him from that curved shell of a mouth.  
  
Squall rested with his gunblade hoisted high in a deceptive display of strength. Each deep breath invigorated his body, keeping the dizziness from overwhelming him completely.  
  
Long vines extended from the creature gesturing skywards. They swayed from side to side in a mystical dance as drops of green light formed above its mouth, glittering in the sunlight. They fell light as a feather towards its beak.  
  
(A spell ... ?... shit)  
  
Not being junctioned to any Guardian force left him unable to cast magic, and vulnerable to whatever it would let loose upon him.  
  
As the frenzied dance reached a crescendo the body of the creature thrust forward hurling the globes of light towards Squall. They expanded in the air, beginning to dissipate into a gaseous state.  
  
An overhanging branch lost all its leaves as it withered and drooped, the cloud of noxious fumes gliding through it.  
  
(... poison cloud.. this is bad..)  
  
There was no way of avoiding it. Even if he could move at top speed he would still be unable to evade the deadly poison. If there was no way around it.. he had to go through it.  
  
Squall looked through the cylinder of his revolver. All but one chamber was empty.  
  
(.. one bullet .. this has to work..)  
  
Through a dizzying haze surrounding his mind he worked up the effort for one last defiant attack. He charged at the approaching gas, gunblade raised above his head.  
  
At the last moment he swung it down sweeping a path through the misty gas as his finger squeezed the trigger.  
  
He could remember the burst of orange flames that grew from the spark he made, coming to life, expanding as it pushed him; the heat overwhelming, cutting through his clothes.  
  
The explosion threw him back and as his ragged body collided with a tree, darkness claimed his sight. A forced slumber clutching his consciousness away from him.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
People's minds worked in such odd ways, thinking of the strangest things at the strangest of times.  
  
Squall was no different.  
  
It should all be over soon. Death, a release from the burdens of life. He was almost happy to soon be free from the tugging heartache in his chest.  
  
Unexpectedly his last thoughts didn't dwell on the one who had hurt him. Instead his mind returned to a time in his youth, thoughts he believed were long forgotten from the overuse of GF's; but somewhere in the back of his mind they remained.  
  
~  
  
The smell of the sea came breezing in from the wide expanse of living blue, fresh and crisp with a tinge of salt enveloping it's edges. The feeling of grass as his hand ripped it playfully out of the ground, silky blades soft in his small young hands. He rested his face on his knees drawing them close to his body, and looked out over the little cliff top tracing the waves with sad eyes as they came home in orderly rows to die along the beach. The setting sun painted the scene with a shaded orange, the warm colour in contrast to the cold he could feel within himself.  
  
The sounds of the sea and its billowing wind almost drowned out the padded footsteps he could hear approaching him.  
  
"Matrons waiting for you .. she's made your favourite.. " The girl said a little apprehensively.  
  
"Go away..." The reply came short and emotionless.  
  
Moments passed as the she wondered what to do.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Children often came up with the most direct and sensible things to say something that adults forgot how to do, always complicating matters with hidden sayings and meanings.  
  
Squall sighed and looked down at the grass-blanketed floor beyond his feet.  
  
"Telling you won't help"  
  
"How do you know if you won't tell me?" A hand came to rest reassuringly on his shoulder as the girl half sat, half stooped behind him.  
  
Her logic was simple and faultless.  
  
"What's the point of caring ..? about people.. about anything.."  
  
"We all care about each other.. to make things easy, to make each other happy.. It would be very sad if every one was alone" She gave a smug smile glad to be able to answer so well, but it was lost on Squall. His eyes never left the ground.  
  
"Everyone I've cared about has left me.. I've got no one."  
  
"You've got Matron and everyone at the house .. and there's Ell-"  
  
"Sis has gone!" He cut her off abruptly not wanting to hear that name again.  
  
" .. she's not coming back .." his voice had shrunk to a whisper.  
  
"oh.. I..I'm sorry"  
  
"Don't be .. I'm not" Emotion back in check his voice was stripped of feeling once again.  
  
"Squall .. you shouldn't.."  
  
"I've learnt this lesson now.. anyone you care about always leaves you .... so I wont ever care about anybody.. ever again.." The hate came cutting through his words, the sadness hidden behind the anger all too apparent.  
  
Her eyes began to well up with tears as she felt the sorrow of her friend.  
  
"Oh Squall .. I'm so sorry for you .. but please... please don't give up..!" Her arms wrapped around his neck as she tried to comfort him.  
  
It had no effect; he still sat with his head on knees, eyes burning a hole into the ground.  
  
"Why shouldn't I?.." The question was serious .. he wanted a reason. A part of him still wishing he could be proven wrong.  
  
"because .. because.." The words were chiselled onto her thoughts, yet they were so hard to say.  
  
"..I care about you...I always will.." Her arms left his body as she ran back to the orphanage. Squall turned to face her with a startled look...  
  
~  
  
He knew who this was ...didn't he? No...that young boy knew who it was, but to him it was a mystery.  
  
Squall concentrated on his thoughts bringing that memory back to his closed eyes.  
  
His head was turned in the direction she had fled.  
  
(why ..why cant I breathe?..)  
  
Surprised eyes looking over the running figure, a figure that was so familiar to him.  
  
( there's something round my neck .... )  
  
The colour of her clothes, her long golden hair swinging to and fro as she ran.  
  
(.. its squeezing .. its killing me..)  
  
CRACK!  
  
The chainwhip tore a trail of wind through the training centre. The tip left upturned dirt in its wake as it sped towards its target mimicking the eagerness of the hand that cast it.  
  
It struck home, ripping through the mutated foliage of the creature; awaking it to the newcomer's presence.  
  
Squall's eyes shot open, and hands reached instinctively for his throat to try and claw the vine that had wound itself round his neck.  
  
Before him through a dizzying haze he could make out the approaching figure of a woman. Long leather gloves that extended to her shoulders framed a thin yet shapely torso clothed in orange. Her hair tied back except for two golden streams that flowed along with the tug on her whip.  
  
(It was her.. that girl before.... it was..)  
  
"Quistis!".. the words feebly escaped from the vice-like suffocation of his tormentor.  
  
"Squall!.. Hang on I'm coming!" She just finished her cry before a vine flew across her path.  
  
Clasping the whip midlength as it returned to the call of her tug, she threw herself forward twisting her body in the air. With skilled acrobatic ability she landed trapping the attacking vine beneath her feet. It squirmed violently.  
  
Letting the whip drop freely, her arm worked the momentum into her long chain with each violent stroke. She swept it over her head then flung the whip forward with all her might.  
  
As the tip raced towards the target, the hand that clasped its handle glowed with an enchanting flame. With each whisper of magic that flashed through Quistis's mind, the flames danced more brilliantly.  
  
A scream echoed from the creature's beak, as it tasted the sting of the chainwhip wrapping tightly around its wide head.  
  
The connection established Quistis closed her eyes finishing off the spell.  
  
"Firaga!" she cried, thrusting her glowing hand forward. The orb of dancing fire shot forward along the chain of Quistis's whip travelling through it like a bolt of lightning along a line of wire.  
  
It reached the struggling plant through the tethered whip. Erupting into an inferno of hellish flames that consumed the creature.  
  
Piercing screams of agony filled the air together with crackling snaps as the fire burned, eager to devour its food.  
  
The frantic writhing movements of the dying plant slowly ceased, its long tendrils retracting into the blazing cremation.  
  
With grim satisfaction Quistis called her whip back from the flames, giving it one last jerk that cleaned the chain of black ash. She turned hurriedly in Squall's direction running to his aid.  
  
The vine around Squall's throat gave up its hold, slinking to the ground in death.  
  
Through coughing gasps Squall fought to stand on weak trembling legs, his hand clutched at the grounded gunblade to steady himself.  
  
She took his weight on her shoulders wrapping an arm round his waist.  
  
Being this close to him warmed her heart.. if only the situation were different.  
  
"Quistis..... it was you.... " He said weakly.  
  
"Squall..?"..She looked at him confused. "Don't try and talk.. get your breath .. Ill take you to the infirmary.. "  
  
His head went light as the room spun before his eyes, a compassionate voice passing between his lips with his last breath before everything went dark.  
  
"Thank you.. "  
  
As Quistis struggled to hold his slumping body tears streamed down from her eyes, leaving glistening trails of emotion...  
  
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Thank you so much for persevering through all that garbage!.. If by a miracle you like it then please leave a review.. it'd cheer me up no end, and make the next chapter appear that much quicker. 


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